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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Golf Story


Microsoft Intrusion


Jokes - 3 Dillies

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalog.
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How many Microsoft employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. We'll just declare darkness the new standard.
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What did one cloned sheep say to the other?
I am ewe.

Bud Light Commercial. Opera. Broken Bottles (Video)

Bad Time To Fart (Video)

Beauty Pageant Loser

This is absolutely horrible - from the talent portion of some stupid beauty pageant.

Biker Chick


Nine Lives


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Want To Dance?

Beer Pong (Video)

Troublesome Nail Gun

Tinkerbell's Fate

Jimmy Talks To God

Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God. “God? Are you really there?” Jimmy said out loud.

To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. “Yes, Jimmy? What can I do for you?”

Seizing the opportunity, Jimmy asked, “God? What is a million years like to you?”

Knowing that Jimmy could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Jimmy could relate. “A million years to me, Jimmy, is like a minute.”

“Oh,” said Jimmy. “Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?”

“A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny.”

“Wow!” remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. “You're so generous...can I have one of your pennies?”

God replied, “Sure thing, Jimmy! Just a minute.”

Windows Error Message


Price Is Right - Crazy Woman Has To Pee

Painted Bathroom Floor - Lookin' Spooky

Bikers Have Got It Wrong (video)

Extreme Skeet Shooting - No More Clay Pigeons


Sunday, October 21, 2007

It Needs A-Fixin'!

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Pa, You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."

Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse! "

Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"

Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it ?!"

Go To Hell


The Chase Is On

Bungee Launch (Video)

News Story


Ace Sign


Friday, October 19, 2007

Bike Trick (Video)

Another soldier in Darwin's Army attempts to destroy himself so that he can't breed another dummy like himself.

Cuppa Joe

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, “Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?”


Her grandson replied, “You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.' “

Computer Error


Squirt

Badly Behaved Parrot

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully-grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude.

David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example.


Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got angrier and ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer.

For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream - then suddenly, there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”

David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what the chicken did?”

Heavy Wool


Opitcal Illusion

Kangaroo Cheats Death

Blogger is giving me some trouble with uploading still images, so I'm stuck posting text and videos today. Enjoy.

Skunk Attack (Video) (Adult Language)

Fishing Trip (Video)

Fishing

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Cockatoo Dance (Video)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Punny Joke

Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was quite a spiritual person. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.

He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

New Political Movement


Moods



He's Pinned!

The woman in this video totally dominates her man.

Dog Parasite?

Sky High


The black car looks like a fish caught on a fishing line.

Good Price?


I've never purchased "Teens" before? Is $5 a good price? Is it legal to sell them? All good questions to spend the day pondering.

Billy Crystal - You Look Marvelous (1985)

The Song...

Noxzema Shaving Cream . 1967 TV Commercial

It's a classic...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Error Message







Ball Game


Strange Thing To Say!

A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often, "Lord I hope I'm sick!"

After about the 5th or 6th time, the receptionist couldn't stand it any longer and asked, "Why in the world would you want to be sick Mr. Adams?"


The man replied, "I'd hate to be well and feel like this."

Good Buy


Hooked


Will Ferrell as The Dog Lawyer

All Bran Commercial

Here's an All Bran advertisement - how many "hidden clues" can you find that lead you to believe that this cereal will lead to better "dumps."

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Cat Bum


Searcdh Engine Craziness

Not So Nice

The Ten Worst Comments To Get On Your Tests

10. See me after class.


9. Didn't you ever buy the book?


8. It's a C -- but it's a strong C.


7. Fascinatingly convoluted.


6. My, what nice, big margins!

5. You must've been up all last night.

4. You should probably know the book ends differently than the movie.

3. Spelling requires more than just sounding it out.

2. Are you familiar with the term "plagiarism"?

1. Please tell your dad to try harder.

Zipper Crazy


Over the Falls

Road Rage In A Parking Lot

Russian Version of Jerry Springer

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Old Friends

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old." Well, if so, you'll love this one.

My name is Alice Amith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park high school.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered , "In 1959. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked, "What did you teach?"

Scientific Finding


Entertaining The Cows


Bad Hits - Accidents, Tumbles and Falls

Ice Cube Candle


It's Cute - But Is It Nice?

Extreme Body Bending by Katrina


Extreme Body Bending By Kristina - More free videos are here

Friday, October 05, 2007

Play Through


Electrical Trees


Polish Joke

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. After filling out his paperwork he had to take an eye exam. The clerk showed him a card with the letters CZWIXNOSTACZ.

"Can you read this?" the clerk asked. "Read it?" the Polish man replied. "He's my uncle."

Eye Crazy


Need Pie!


Motorcycle Nitwit

Watch this moron as he attempts to escape capture from the police.

Niagara Falls Rescue

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Cat Joke

Reminder - you can view the image larger by clicking on it.